TRAUMATIC INVALIDATION

What is meant by Traumatic invalidation?

People who are experiencing trauma are more likely to experience depression, have job related problems, smoke tobacco, become alcoholic, are absent from work, and commit suicide. However, traumatic invalidation by significant others can lead them towards being more vulnerable for their mental and physical health.

An individual experiences traumatic invalidation when significant others in his/her environment repeatedly convey that his/her trauma related experiences, characteristics, or emotional reactions are unreasonable or unacceptable.

Invalidation is difficult for the person experiencing trauma, when it is from the person, group, or authority that the individual relies his/her trust upon.

Traumatic invalidation can be expressed in various forms: either verbally or through actions such as being abused, neglected and disrupting a relationship when the affected person conveys his/her experience of trauma.

Common invalidating statements people express verbally

"It could be worse." / "I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

These expressions neglect and marginalize an individual's pain and force them to think positively about the situation without acknowledging their present feelings.

"You shouldn't feel that way." This expression makes the affected person feel small and guilty of showing their emotions.

"Just get over it."

This expression leads to the feelings of being brushed aside and leaving him/her with a constricted space and time to heal.

"Man up."

Men are often told to suppress their feelings or emotions as they may be unattractive or make them look more feminine. This is a false notion.

"I know exactly what you're going through." This expression minimises the person's motivation to express what they are really feeling.

"I'm not going to discuss this with you." This expression denies the affected person's feelings and makes them feel that their feelings don't matter.

"Why are you making such a big deal over it?"

This expression conveys to the affected person that they are dramatic or over reacting.

"You're too sensitive."

This expression is a way to dismiss the perpetrators of their responsibility for actions or words.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

This expression conveys that the other person has nothing to do with the affected person.

"You always have to make a fuss about things."

This expression makes the affected person feel they are a burden for their significant others in some ways

Reasons why people invalidate

When people are unaware of the words or behaviours they express, they may perceive that they are attempting to help the other person from a difficult emotion or experience.

When people are aware that the words and behaviours they express are invalidating, but somehow continue to maintain in that way so that they can manipulate or abuse another person.

People's inability to understand or empathise, or feelings of discomfort they experience when they get involved with an affected person’s emotions stimulates unprocessed emotions in the invalidator.

Effects of Traumatic Invalidation on the affected individual:

Difficulties in accepting and understanding their own experiences and related emotions. This leads to feelings of insecurity and anxiety about self validation.

Feelings of worthlessness, being lonely, confused, and inability to handle trauma are witnessed in the affected individual.

Affect a person's well-being and their interaction with others, personally and professionally.

The affected person may distance himself/herself emotionally and as a result, conflicts may lead to disruption in relationships.

Psychologist Marsha M. Linehan observed that growing up in an environment where one’s inner experiences were invalidated, punished, or ignored as a potential cause in the onset of Borderline Personality Disorder.

A study on eating disorders in women highlighted the impact of parental invalidation on one’s ability to tolerate distress and their eating pathology.

According to a study, perceived invalidation by peers and family members was found to increase the likelihood of suicidal events or instances of self-mutilation in participating adolescents.

The affected person in general doubts his sense of worthiness about himself/herself and others.

The individual feels alienated from society and that their emotions and experiences don't belong in that social setting.

How can you validate someone in trauma?

Listen and respond to the person disclosing his/her trauma by verbal responses, using body language, staying present with the person, responding to their mood and energy level. Asking clarifying questions so that your perception of their feelings aligns rightly.

Acknowledge what happened to them was wrong by avoiding blame on the person, perceiving what difficulties the person has been experiencing.

Place the responsibility to where it belongs by saying that it was not their fault.

Validate their feelings to help them make sense of what they are feeling.

Offer support/ resources by asking them what you can do to help them or make them feel supported.

Bibliography

Linehan, M., 1993. Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment Of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Publications.

Mountford, V., Corstorphine, E., Tomlinson, S. and Waller, G., 2007. Development of a measure to assess invalidating childhood environments in the eating disorders. Eating Behaviors, 8(1), pp.48-58.

Yen, S., Kuehn, K., Tezanos, K., Weinstock, L., Solomon, J. and Spirito, A., 2015. Perceived Family and Peer Invalidation as Predictors of Adolescent Suicidal Behaviors and Self-Mutilation. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology, 25(2), pp.124-130.

https://khironclinics.com/blog/invalidation/#_ftn2

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://ceh.as.uky.edu/trauma&ved=2ahUKEwiF07Xpl4HzAhUf7XMBHRTQBJIQFnoECBMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3kO_Yoj1dbAG5kmuZ7aVHS&cshid=1631770407888

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.regain.us/advice/psychology/what-is-psychological-invalidation-how-it-happens-and-its-effects/&ved=2ahUKEwiF07Xpl4HzAhUf7XMBHRTQBJIQFnoECDQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0OHz-KHXtaB6kp4OtZhzfZ&cshid=1631770407888